Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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