oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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