i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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