Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
