Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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