Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize