You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
