Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
