so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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