i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
