Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
