Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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