just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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