she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
