this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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