I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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