If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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