Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
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