Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Four minutes until I can fart!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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