she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
