I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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