There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I love you.
Bad choice
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
