shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's blow job season.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
