okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
All the doctor said was why
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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