Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Randomize
