Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
