She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize