she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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