Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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