so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
