My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Still dying that you shit outside
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize