I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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