I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
