or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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