May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
