Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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