There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
