this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
