Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
