Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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