We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
