just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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