i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize