come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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