And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
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He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
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When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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