I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
