i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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