I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
