My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Randomize
