It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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