i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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