her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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