ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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