we'll go far in life on tits alone.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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