hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
