I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
