Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
