I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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